


5 times Holtzmann tries to kiss Erin and they get interrupted and 1 time they don- no, wait, they still get interrupted but really.. who cares? (Certainly not Holtzmann)

by dr_jillianholtzmann



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Holtzbert - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, I can promise you that, I mean, I'm so sorry, Little bit of angst, Pining, Spin the Bottle, and ghosts, annoying dudes are there, eventually, just a tiny bit, just so you all know, kevin's actually in this one, of course, they're also a bit drunk somewhere in this mess of a story, this is a first kiss story so it's pre-holtzbert, which was hard because I constantly forgot about him, yesss a whole lot of fluff, yup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-07 23:16:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10372029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dr_jillianholtzmann/pseuds/dr_jillianholtzmann
Summary: Basically, it’s one of those 5 and 1 stories (which I didn’t think I was every going to write, but here we are). There’s really not much to say. Holtzmann tries to kiss Erin (for the first time) but every time they get interrupted or something happens. There’s a lot of pining, awkwardness, fluff, a tiny bit of angst and yes, eventually, kissing. If you like stories about these two being oblivious idiots, you’ll love this! I promise!





	1. It’s like a long and exhausting race

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! I know it's been a while since I've updated [Dates in Central Park](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9272528/chapters/21014138), and I'm not abandoning that story, at all. Life is just crazy right now. I'm working a lot and don't really have any time to write. Anyways, before you think that means this story is not going to be updated for forever, I actually have the entire story finished already. All 6 chapters. I had them on my computer, but I wasn't sure if I really liked it. Anyways, I've edited a bit and now I'm pretty happy with the result. So I'll probably be updating daily. :)
> 
> Hope you like it! 
> 
> xx E

Erin likes Holtzmann. She does. She likes how she gets so caught up in her work that she forgets to function like a normal human being. She likes how when she’s just tired enough she’ll let Erin take care of her, let her drag her away from her tools and onto the couch where Erin feeds her pieces of pizza. She likes when, in those moments, Holtzmann seems so vulnerable, and quiet. Erin often finds herself reaching out to touch Holtzmann, nothing too much, though. Just a hand on the small of her back, or reaching out to squeeze her hand only to leave their fingers laced together while Holtzmann lazily forces herself to eat more of the pizza.

 

She also likes when Holtzmann manages to get more than four hours of sleep, which is a lot for her, and then jumps around the lab all day, slides down the fire pole six times in a row, mostly to annoy Erin. Then she practically runs towards where Erin would be standing, asking her to come up to the second floor with her only to end up dancing around the redhead while she just rolls her eyes and tries to hide her smile. She always fails.

 

There’s this strange pattern between the two of them, with Erin blushing when Holtzmann is being her crazy self and flirting with her, only to gain confidence when Holtz is either sleepy or too distracted to notice. Only then, she’d smile a little brighter, dance along a little more, hold her hand a little longer. At first, she’s not sure if Holtzmann actually notices, because Erin doesn’t know if the blonde is aware of what happens when she lets go and Erin takes over. She likes to pretend she doesn’t know, because if she did it would maybe make her blush again, or she’d be scared again, and that meant that she wouldn’t be able to touch her anymore.

 

However, Holtzmann does know. It takes some time, but then she knows. She knows when Erin comes into her lab late one evening, a little after 10 PM. The others have eaten dinner hours ago. She’s aware of this because she vaguely remembers Abby calling out for her. She’s not that tired, not really. Today was a little bit of a lazy day, there were no new gadgets to work on so she’d just spend her time tinkering with Patty’s proton gun.

 

“Hey.” Erin suddenly says, Holtzmann not quite looking up from her work yet.

 

Erin mistakes this as Holtz being tired again, so she quickly walks closer and moves to stand next to the other woman. Without hesitation, she places her hand on her lower back, her thumb moving in small circles.

 

“Hi.” Holtzmann responds then, finally done with her work and looking up to smile brightly at Erin. Within a second, Erin jumps and moves away from her.

 

“Whatcha doin’?” The blonde asks now, her smile only widening.

 

“Uh-“ Erin stammers, because she has absolutely no idea what she should say.

 

Holtzmann squints her eyes, then widens them, as if it suddenly all makes sense to her. She leans back until they’re touching again, then turns her head around so she can wink at Erin. “I’m tired.”

 

The redhead blushes. “You’re not.”

 

“I can be. If you’d like?”

 

Holtzmann knows. Erin knows. Holtzmann knows that Erin knows that she knows. Erin knows – _wait, this is getting confusing_. They just know.

 

What Erin doesn’t know is what to do, or say. She wants to tell Holtzmann that she doesn’t have to be tired, that she’s brave enough to do this even now that she knows. However, it’s scary, and intimidating. She feels like a kid that’s just been busted while trying to steal a second piece of candy from the box on the top shelf.

 

“I could eat some pizza right about now. Did you guys leave something for me?” Holtzmann asks, making the decision for her. The smile on her face tells Erin that it’s okay, that she understands. That she’ll look away just one more time so Erin can reach for the box.

 

“Of course.” She says in return, managing a soft smile.

 

Holtzmann takes the stairs instead of the fire pole, and Erin thinks it’s mostly just to keep up this little thing they’re doing right now. Because if Holtz would slide down the pole it would ruin the moment, or something like that. She’s well aware that what they’re doing right now is crazy, but she also can’t really remember the last time something’s actually been normal. It was definitely before she walked into the lab at Higgins. After that everything feels like some kind of insane dream she’d have trouble retelling to someone else, a dream that she’d never want to wake up from some. Luckily for her, this is all very real (she tested it, like the real scientist that she is).

 

The blonde drops down on top of the couch, takes a deep breath and then turns to look at Erin.

 

“Do you want something to drink as well?” Erin asks, already heating up the left over slices of pizza in the kitchen.

 

Holtzmann mutters something that sounds like yes, before sitting just a little bit more upright. “Where’s Patty and Abby?” She asks, trying to sound more tired than she’s actually feeling.

 

“I think they went out to the bar for a couple of drinks.”

 

“They didn’t invite us?”

 

Erin smiles as she walks over towards the couch and places the plate plus Holtzmann’s beer on the small table. “No, they did.”

 

The blonde frowns as she stares at Erin, clearly not remembering this particular moment. “About two hours ago or something. Patty went up to the lab but you were a little caught up in your work.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“That’s why you assumed I-“

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Have some pizza.” Erin says, picking up a piece and handing it over to Holtzmann. The blonde chuckles then, making eye contact with Erin briefly before taking a bite of the slice.

 

“What?” Erin asks.

 

“Nothing.” Holtzmann responds, letting herself sink further into the couch as soon as she finishes the piece. She gestures for Erin to sit down next to her so she can rest her head in the other woman’s lap. Erin’s fingers immediately find their way to her head, rubbing small circles on her temple. Another part of their ritual. Holtzmann usually gets even more tired after she’s done eating, which is when Erin gently guides her down and strokes her hair, knowing that it always relaxes the engineer when she does this.  

 

Holtzmann smiles lazily at her before closing her eyes, actually happy that she can fully enjoy this for once. The last couple of times she’d been too tired to even notice how intimate the actual gesture is.

 

Erin’s hands suddenly stop, causing her to open her eyes again.

 

“This is stupid, isn’t it?”

 

Holtzmann moves away from Erin’s lap, sitting upright again and reaching out to touch Erin’s shoulder.

 

“Don’t freak out on me now.”

 

Erin ducks her head away. “I’m sorry. I know it’s really stupid and I should just-“

 

“Just what?”

 

“Holtzmann.”

 

“Erin.”

 

The blonde knows how hard this is for Erin. She can see that she wants to be brave, but somehow she’s still afraid of crossing a line. Honestly, though, Holtzmann doesn’t just want Erin to cross it, she wants her to sprint past it, as if it were a finish line at the end of a very long and exhausting race. Which is quite similar to what this thing between them seems to be. A long and exhausting race that consisted of moments like ‘we’re going to make it’ and ‘maybe I should just give up before I fall’ (in this case, for Erin), and also ‘are we even running the same race?!’.

 

Right now, Erin is standing still in front of the finish line, and Holtzmann is running in place just a few feet behind her. Still moving, but not quite ready to stop this race by crossing the line. However, she’s not sure how long she can wait for Erin to just _run_. She never intended to win, because winning hasn’t done much good for her in the past. She never stops running after crossing the line, while the others usually slow down until they’re standing still and they never fully manage to catch up with her after that. 

 

She reaches out for Erin’s hand, gives it a gentle squeeze. It’s like taking a few steps closer to her, reaching out and pulling her along with her. Because Erin’s not going to cross it, and neither is she, because she doesn’t want to make the mistake, but maybe, just maybe, they can just cross the line together. There’s no need to rush, because the race was supposed to end a long time ago and there’s nobody to win or lose anymore, there’s just that last step.

 

Holtzmann leans in at the same moment that Erin leans in, their foreheads touching now and halfway past the finish line. She wonders if Erin thinks about this as well, about how close they are.  

 

“Holtz-“ Erin says, her voice barely above a whisper. It doesn’t sound like stop, which is what the blonde is afraid of at first. But it doesn’t. She squeezes her hand a little tighter and closes her eyes while she leans in even further. Their lips are just about to touch when-

 

“We’re back!!!”

 

“Fuck.” Erin curses as they jump apart, their friends walking over and moving to sit next to them on the couch. Within seconds, they’re excitedly talking to Erin about something that had happened at the bar, clearly not aware of what had been about to happen before they walked in.

 

At any other moment Holtzmann would have teased Erin about the cursing, before making fun of Patty about something, but right now she can’t. She ducks her head down, and sighs deeply. They had crashed just before the finish line and she had no idea how to get the both of them up again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Spin the bottle.. kind of

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos so far, it means a lot! Definitely keep them coming because they really motivate me to update even quicker and write more and more fun stories for you guys. 
> 
> So, you'll notice that this chapter is quite different from the first one. Definitely more humor and lighter than the first one. Also, Kevin, Abby and Patty are in this, so yay! The chapters will most likely all be a bit different (some are more serious, others are very light and cracky). It's mainly because I wrote them at different times and never really knew if I really wanted to post this or not. 
> 
> Love you all <3
> 
> I apologize for any mistakes, English is most definitely not my first language. 
> 
> xx E

It’s a little more than a week later. They haven’t discussed what nearly happened. They’ve talked about other things, mostly work related. Erin came up to the lab a couple of times to talk about an equation, or a new (way too dangerous) gadget that Holtzmann was nearly done with and needed Erin’s advice on. She knows they’re only talking about this because they’re both ignoring the actual problem right now, and it will probably blow up in their faces if they don’t talk about what _almost_ happened.

 

It’s not like it’s awkward or something, at least not for Holtzmann. She’s pretty sure Erin thinks it awkward, although, to be fair, the physicist thinks a lot of things are awkward. Holtzmann has just been figuring out what to do. She’s not sure how Erin feels about the moment. Maybe she’s relieved that they were interrupted. Besides from the cursing right after the interruption, the redhead hasn’t shown any indication that she’d like to pick up where they left off.

 

Neither has she, and she’s aware of that. However, she likes to believe that she’s been more than clear towards Erin about what she wants.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Good evening, hot stuff.”

 

Erin blushes, then pulls herself together and walks closer to where Holtzmann is standing. “I was just coming to check how my proton gun is doing.”

 

“And here I thought you were coming in to see me.” It’s risky, she knows.

 

Erin rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I’m choosing to ignore that. How’s my gun?”

 

The engineer smiles brightly at her, winking quickly before finally turning serious and reaching for the gun. “Good as new.”

 

“Really? That’s fast.”

 

“Can’t have you running around unarmed, Gilbert.”

 

“I still have my Swiss army knife.”

 

That causes Holtzmann to beam at her. She’d had her doubts about Erin knowing the importance of the knife, afraid that the physicist didn’t realize just how much this knife meant to Holtzmann, and how long she’d had it before giving it to Erin.

 

“Do you want that back, by the way?” Erin asks, unsure what the blonde is thinking right now and finding the silence between them somewhat awkward.

 

“What?” Holtzmann asks as she snaps out of her thoughts. “Of course not. That’s yours now.”

 

Erin smiles softly at her and reaches out to touch the engineer’s shoulder. “Thank you, Holtzmann.”

 

Holtzmann suddenly realizes she’s blushing, something that doesn’t happen very often, and she’s not sure what she should do now. “Uh yeah. You’re welcome.”

 

She knows that Erin can see that she’s blushing because there’s a soft smile on her lips and a twinkle in her eyes. Luckily for her, she doesn’t say anything. She makes a mental note not to tease Erin too much the next time she blushes.

 

“Guys.” Patty says as she knocks on the door of the lab before entering, not even waiting for a reply. “What are y’all doing?”

 

“Work.”

 

“Each other.”

 

“Holtzmann!” Erin says as she swats the blonde’s shoulder, who’s just looking at Patty with a somewhat wicked grin on her face.

 

“I don’t even wanna know what’s going on in here. Anyways, Abby and I are about to have some drinks downstairs. You guys can join us or go, but I’m not going to sit downstairs knowing you freaks are having sex on top of our stuff.”

 

“Oh my god.”

 

Patty is well aware that Holtzmann had merely been teasing Erin with her comment, but she decides that joining in is much more fun.

 

“Relax baby. We’re just joking.”

 

“Unless you want to.”

 

Erin groans and lets her head fall down on top of Holtzmann’s shoulder. She doesn’t even know how to respond to this, but she knows that if she makes eye contact with either of them, they’ll be able to see that that’s _exactly_ what she wants. Because the truth is, she hasn’t stopped thinking about kissing Holtzmann and throwing her on top of the desk and then kissing her some more and more and more.

 

“I honestly can’t tell if this means you’re into it or not.”

 

“Holtzy, leave the poor girl alone. Erin, come downstairs. You’ll feel better once you’ve had some wine.”

 

She finally picks up her head and immediately rushes towards the stairs, desperate to get away from the two of them.

 

“So… that went well.” Holtzmann says once Erin is out of earshot.

 

“Baby, honestly, I don’t know what you think you just saw, but she’s totally into you.”

 

“You think?”

 

“Uh, I know. She looked like she was ready to rip the clothes off your body right here, right now.”

 

Holtzmann smiles then.

 

“Please don’t smile like that. It freaks me out.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I think I know what you’re thinking, and I don’t wanna have that imagine in my mind.”

 

The engineer laughs before gesturing towards the door, suggesting that they’d join the others downstairs.

 

“Took you long enough!” Abby says once they’re seated next to the others on the couch. As usual, Holtzmann sits next to Erin, while Patty joins Abby on the larger couch to the left of them.

 

The blonde then noticed the amount of stuff that was placed on the coffee table, as well as the downstairs whiteboard that was dragged over towards where they were sitting. “What’s all this?”

 

Abby smiles almost proudly. “Well.. I thought we could play some drinking games.”

 

Erin chuckles. “And a simple game of truth or dare isn’t fun enough?”

 

“Nah, I mean we’ve played that a million times already. I don’t wanna hear any more freaky sex stories from Holtzy.”

 

“Hey!” The blonde argues, although she does realize that the four of them have probably shared way too much.

 

“Well.. I agree with Patty, which is why I came up with some other fun ideas.” Abby chimes in.

 

“You’re not going to tell us what they are, are you?” Erin asks then, suddenly a bit nervous about what Abby has planned. She doesn’t really know how she feels – or how Holtzmann feels for that matter – about what happened between them, and she doesn’t know what’s going to happen if she starts drinking alcohol.

 

“Nope. You’ll just have to find out along the way.”

 

“Cool.” Holtzmann says, clearly more enthusiastic than the others.

 

“Okay then,” Abby starts as she moves to stand up from the couch. She each hands them a glass of wine (well, Holtz gets a beer because she’s not a big fan of wine) and then smiles at them. “So.. I was going to start with this game I read about called ‘If you know what I mean’.”

 

“Explain.” Patty says, all three of them clearly confused.

 

“Basically, you come up with a situation or a scene, for two people. Like, you could say 'you’re at a bar’. Then, you go back and forth with remarks that end with ‘if you know what I mean’. Whoever runs out of vaguely sexual-sounding phrases first has to drink.”

 

Holtzmann immediately smirks.

 

“No! None of that!” Patty argues, gesturing towards Holtzmann while she keeps her eyes on Abby.

 

“That’s not fair!” Erin adds.

 

“Hold your horses, everyone. I already came to the conclusion that it would probably end with a lot of vomit for the three of us and a very sober, and probably annoying, Holtz.”

 

The blonde actually whines. “But it would be so much fun.”

 

“Not for us.”

 

 “Okay, how about we just play a simple spin the bottle game then?” Patty suggests, her laughter fading away.

 

Erin reaches out to touch the blonde’s shoulder, who’s still pouting her lips because they’re not playing the other game. 

 

“Sure.” Abby answers. “I actually came up with a way more awesome version of that as well.” She then says, causing the others to laugh and shake their heads.

 

“What? You guys are so lame.”

 

“Alright, alright. We’ll play your game.” Erin says, standing up to pat her friend’s shoulder before moving into the kitchen to get their next round of drinks.

 

“Hey, guys. What are you all doing?” Kevin suddenly says, emerging from the stairs and making them all wonder why in the hell he was up there.

 

“Kevin! Where have you been?”

 

“I was practicing for my hide and seek tournament.”

 

“By yourself?” Abby asks, trying to laugh.

 

“No, with you guys! I think I won, you guys didn’t even find me one time.” He beams at them, clearly proud of himself.

 

“Kevin, sweet, sweet Kev.” Holtzmann then says, gesturing for him to take a seat in one of the empty chairs. “We talked about this, remember? You promised you’d tell us next time you want to practice so that one of us can go look for you.”

 

He frowns, clearly not quite understanding what he did wrong. “But I did tell you guys! I left a note.” He then vaguely gestures towards his desk.

 

Abby walks over and picks up the tiniest piece of paper she’s ever seen. ‘I’m hiding’ it says, in barely readable handwriting. “Oh my god.” The brunette says then, holding up the piece of paper for the others to see.

 

“Jesus Christ.” Patty mutters under her breath. “Kevin, I probably wouldn’t have even found that note on your desk had I used one of those magnifying glass thingies from Holtzy.”

 

Erin is clutching her stomach while she leans heavily on Holtzmann, both of them laughing.

 

“Thank you for this, Kevin. I needed this.” Holtzmann says once the laughter starts to fade.

 

“You’re welcome.” He responds, a big smile on his face. 

 

“Anyways,” Abby speaks, “Where was I? Uh- so, the game. The idea is that you spin the bottle. Once it lands on someone you pick one of the Pictionary cards and draw something with your non-dominant hand. You have one minute to draw and guess. If someone guesses it you have to drink three sips, if they don’t you have to kiss whoever the bottle landed on.”

 

Erin smiles, excited to play this game. Not only does this sound like fun, she also secretly kind of likes getting another opportunity to maybe kiss Holtzmann. She’s not sure how Holtzmann feels about what happened last time, it might have just been a ‘spur of the moment’ thing. This game, however, could give her the opportunity to find out how she feels, or at least she’ll maybe get to kiss the blonde. 

 

“This ain’t fair.” Patty argues, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Y’all know how bad I am at drawing.”

 

“Which is exactly why this game is gonna be fun.” Holtzmann teases.

 

They all laugh then, even Kevin, although Erin is quite sure he doesn’t truly understand what’s going on.

 

“Okay so, I’ll go first.” Abby says, standing up from the couch to reach for the bottle of wine, giving it a spin. It lands on Holtzmann, who immediately winks at her.

 

Patty snorts and hands Abby one of the cards from the game. She picks up the marker with her left hand and tells them she’s ready. Erin starts the timer and the researcher turns her attention towards the board. Honestly, she’d rather be the one to get to draw and maybe kiss Holtzmann, but she’s not really jealous or anything. Because, obviously, Holtz isn’t hers to kiss. Also, it’s just a game. Doesn’t mean she isn’t going to try her hardest to guess what her friend is drawing.

 

“Abby. What in the hell is this?” Patty says, laughing hard as she looks at the drawing – if you can call it that – on the board.

 

Abby can’t talk according to the rules, so she just laughs and continues drawing. Which is pretty damn hard once you’ve had some wine and are using your wrong hand.

 

“I think it’s murder.” Holtzmann says. “I mean, I’m assuming that’s a woman, laying a puddle, on the floor.”

 

Abby shakes her head, drawing arrows at the puddle that’s next to the woman.

 

“Blood!” Patty yells.

 

Again, the other woman shakes her head.

 

“A dog.” Kevin says, causing them all to turn to look at him, eyebrows raised. “Well, that could be a dog playing in a puddle.”

 

“That’s.. surprisingly smart.” Erin responds, then looks down at her timer. “Also, Abby, you have fifteen seconds left.”

 

Quickly, Abby starts adding a few extra items next to the woman. Something that looks like a bucket, and some kind of small square. She also draws a shower.

 

“Crazy woman trying to cover up murder!” Patty guesses.

 

“A dog!”

 

“You said that already, Kevin.”

 

“Ectoplasm!”

 

“Good one,” Patty says as she smiles at Holtzmann. “That does look like that time Erin slipped on the ectoplasm in the bathroom.”

 

“Thanks, guys.” The redhead responds, causing both girls to chuckle.

 

“Well Abby, get ready to kiss Holtzy because this might be the most confusing drawing I’ve ever seen.”

 

Abby draws what looks like a small box of some kind of cross on it. Suddenly, Erin sees it. The box, the bucket, the warning sign for chemicals.  There are five seconds left.

 

“Bleach!”

 

Immediately, Abby turns around and throws her hands up in the air. “Finally! How did you guys not get that?” She reaches for her drink and takes her three sips.

 

Holtzmann laughs. “Thanks for saving my ass, Gilbert. Also, it’s still murder, right? She’s using the bleach to get rid of the blood, clearly.”

 

Patty nods in agreement, Kevin still thinks it’s a dog.

 

“Oh my god, guys. It’s not murder. The puddle is the bleach. She’s just cleaning.”

 

“Well, that’s boring.” Holtzmann responds, leaning back into the couch, her shoulder brushing against Erin when she does.

 

“Okay then, fine. She killed her husband and is cleaning up the blood with bleach. Happy?”

 

“Very.” The engineer says, a slightly manic grin on her face.

 

“My turn now!” Kevin suddenly says, jumping up and spinning the bottle before either of them get the chance to stop him. It lands on Erin.

 

“Well.. you know what this means, right?” Abby teases.

 

The redhead groans and leans her elbows on her knees, letting her head fall down in her hands. This surprises Holtzmann, because even though things between them have been changing, clearly, she also didn’t expect this reaction to Erin finding out she’d have to – most likely – kiss Kevin.

 

So, Kevin starts. He makes a vertical line. Then stops.

 

“Uh- you stuck?” Patty asks.

 

He shakes his head and smiles at them.

 

“That’s it?” Holtzmann has trouble holding in her laughter, especially because Erin is groaning next to her.

 

“Is it just a line?” Abby asks. A shake of his head. “Okay uh- so maybe a finish line, or something. God, I’m sorry Erin. I don’t know.”

 

“Can’t you add something, to make it more clear?” Erin asks, desperate to guess whatever it is he’s drawing.

 

He thinks about it for a few seconds, then adds, what she assumes is a ghost, next to it.

 

“Jesus. This is only getting worse.”

 

Holtzmann is now laughing out loud, unable to stop it anymore.

 

The timer ends then, and Kevin actually looks disappointed, as if he really thought they were going to guess it.

 

“Well, what was it?” Holtzmann asks, curious to find out.

 

“A fireman’s pole.”

 

“Whaaaat?”

 

“No, that actually makes sense.” Abby interrupts, “I mean, we have one, that’s why he drew the ghost.”

 

They all smile then, finding it somehow endearing that he immediately connected it to them, instead of actual firemen or something like that.

 

“Well, great job Kevin. Sorry we didn’t guess it.” Holtzmann says.

 

“That’s alright, I already won with hide and seek.”

 

“True.” Patty answers, then turns to where Erin is still sitting next to Holtzmann. “Now Erin, I think you know what to do.”

 

“Okay, okay.” She says, pushing herself up from the couch and walking to where Kevin is standing. “You remember the rules right?” She asks, not wanting to make him even more confused by randomly kissing him.

 

He nods and she quickly leans in closer to give him a quick peck. It’s not as awkward as she thought it was going to be. Kevin doesn’t seem to mind, or care for that matter, at all. Patty and Abby cheer, the dark-haired woman then turning her phone towards Abby. She can only assume that the historian managed to take a picture of the moment.

 

She walks back towards the couch, only now realizing that Holtzmann hasn’t said anything yet.

 

“Are you okay?” She asks.

 

“Yeah, of course.” The blonde answers, a smile on her face within seconds. It doesn’t quite reach her eyes, though.

 

The game continues for a little while. In the end, Patty has kissed everyone in the group, like she predicted. Luckily for Erin, Kevin decided that guessing was way more fun than drawing. However, she’s slightly bummed that her bottle always seems to miss Holtzmann, landing on whoever she’s sitting next to at any moment.

 

“Okay, how about we do one more and then we call it a night? We can play some of the other games another day.” Abby says, slurring a little by now.

 

“Sounds good.” Patty answers. “Holtzy, it’s your turn.”

 

Holtzmann gets up from where she’s sitting and spins the bottle. Erin watches it go, watches how it slows down until it’s almost stopping. Kevin, _still going_. Abby, _barely moving_. Erin, _it stops._ She looks up, seeking eye contact with Holtz. The blonde is still staring at the bottle, but then she does look up and she winks at her.

 

“Ready Gilbert?”

 

She nods.

 

The timer starts. Holtzmann starts drawing. She immediately grins. She knows what Holtzmann’s doing, she’s seen her draw before, she’s seen her sketches. Holtzmann can draw, like really, really draw. Also, they all managed to guess her drawings the previous two times.

 

“Holtzy, baby, are you even trying? What is this?” Patty asks, looking at the scribbles on the board.

 

“Uh, is it a space shuttle or something?” Erin asks, because it does look slightly like that, but she’s sure that’s not really it, meaning it’s safe to guess.

 

“A dog.”

 

“Kevin, stop guessing that it’s a dog every time.”

 

Holtzmann continues drawing, glad that she got this card. At least they’ll understand why she made a mess of this once they find out, and won’t immediately assume she messed it up just so she could kiss Erin. Which is the true reason, obviously.

 

“Uh, a time machine?” Abby guesses. “Also, you have fifteen seconds left.”

 

She adds some numbers next to one of the squares that she drew, then also draws some lines between a couple of the boxes. Yes, it’s a mess, but it sort of makes sense as well.

 

“Ten seconds.” Holtzmann stops drawing and turns around to look at Erin. The redhead takes a deep breath. They’re going to kiss, there’s now way she – or anyone else for that matter – is going to guess what this is. Holtzmann doesn’t break eye contact with her, just steps away from the board and takes a step towards her. She winks, and Erin’s jaw almost drops to the floor.

 

“Five seconds.”

 

“I think it’s funny.” Kevin suddenly says. “It kinda looks like what you guys call blueprints, or something? I heard you talking about it before and it was just as confusing as this.”

 

Holtzmann drops the marker down on the floor, lets her head fall down as well. “Seriously?!” She mutters, only loud enough for Erin to hear.

 

“Is that it?” Erin asks, louder. She can’t believe this is happening, how in the hell did Kevin, of all people, manage to guess what it was. 

 

The blonde takes a deep breath, looking up to make eye contact with Erin briefly before putting a fake smile on her face and turning towards her friends. “You got it, Kev!”

 

Abby and Patty clap, Kevin looks confused.

 

“That’s great!” He says enthusiastically.

 

“Yeah, just great…” Erin says softly, her eyes never leaving Holtzmann’s when she does.

 

The blonde squints her eyes at her, then reaches out and squeezes her hand. Just for a second, obviously, not really wanting the others to notice. Okay so, yes, she didn’t get to kiss Erin. However, it did appear that she wasn’t the only who felt bad about that… which was almost, _almost_ as good as actually getting to kiss her.

 


	3. Too bright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE COMMENTS/KUDOS/LOVE! 
> 
> Honestly, they make me smile so much and I want to give each and every one of you a hug! 
> 
> Okay so here's the third chapter.. it's definitely not one of my favorite ones..  
> I struggled a lot with this one, and it's way more serious than the second chapter. 
> 
> I hope you'll all still like it, please do let me know :) 
> 
> oh and also, it's not really 'interrupted' anymore. Sometimes they're just idiots and ruin it for themselves. That should have been in the title of this story but it's too late now. 
> 
> xx E

****

Holtzmann hasn’t really talked to Erin much after the ‘spin the bottle’ game they played a couple of days ago. She wants to _know_. She wants to know if Erin really, truly, wanted to kiss her in that moment. Holtzmann thinks that she might have wanted to, because she has never seen Erin look at her like _that._ She’s seen the physicist blush, stumble over her words, caught her staring more times than she can count, but that _look_. She’s never seen it before, which scares her a bit. Nobody in her life has ever looked at her like that. Sure, there have been girls who wanted her, kissed her, made her feel good. They looked at her with blown pupils and pure _lust._ This was nothing like that. She hasn’t really loved anyone in her life before she met Abby, and not a lot of people have loved her. When she looks into Abby’s eyes she sees something as well, something different from what she’s seen before. That’s friendship, she knows.

  
But this, this was something else. Erin’s pupil’s dilated, but just a little. Not the full blown dark eyes that she’s seen before from others. No, her eyes seemed to shine, a slight twinkle in them as they held eye contact. Her stomach was doing back flips; her mouth was dry. Her heart skipped a beat, then started hammering in her chest, as if I was trying to burst out. That might be love, she thinks.

  
It scares her, because she’s never felt this way, at least not as intense as this. One part of her wants to talk to Erin, wants to ask her if she wanted to kiss her too. But it feels like too much to ask; they’d have to have a conversation, and she’s not sure if she’s ready for that. If she can do that. What if Erin would end up rejecting her anyway? She could be right about what she saw in her eyes, yet still scare Erin off by pushing too much. She’s made that mistake before.

 

However, she also can’t just have normal day-to-day conversations with Erin while she’s as confused about their situation as she is right now.

 

Also, she figures that if Erin truly wanted something to happen, she could have just come to her as well. Yet, the physicist has distanced herself from her. She rarely ever comes into the lab, unless it’s to ask her an important – always work related – question.

 

She’s just about to finish working on Patty’s proton pack, still lost in her thoughts, when someone knocks on the door of her lab. 

 

“Hey.” Abby says as she enters her lab, scanning the room to check if they’re alone before closing the door behind her.

 

“Something wrong?” Holtzmann asks her, quickly snapping out of it and easily putting a smile on her face. She’s always been good at pretending everything is fine.

 

The brunette shrugs. “I don’t know, you tell me.”

 

“Is this about the fact that I set your desk on fire?”

 

“You set my desk on fire?!?!”

 

Holtzmann grins wickedly. She’d arrived earlier at the firehouse than the others this morning, and Abby’s desk was so nice and clean and empty, the perfect place to test her newest toy. Also, she figured it would help set her mind of the whole Erin issue. Both experiments failed. Clearly.

 

“Sorry.” She says sheepishly.

 

“We’ll talk about that later. Right now, I really want to talk about Erin.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Why?” Abby raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms. “Are you serious? The two of you have basically been avoiding each other ever since that weird spin the bottle game last week and it’s causing Erin to be very, very grumpy. Now, I don’t know what you did to her-“

 

“Why do you assume I did something to her?”

 

Abby shrugs her shoulders once more. “Don’t know. I just figured you wiped out an unfinished equation on her whiteboard again or something.”

 

“That only happened once, and to be fair, the drawing was much more fun.”

 

“It wasn’t very work appropriate.”

 

“I’m not sure anything in this lab is, including me.”

 

Abby laughs then. “Yeah, guess you’re right about that. Anyways, if it wasn’t that, then what happened?”

 

Holtzmann sighs deeply and puts her screwdriver down. She doesn’t really want to talk about this, because she’s not even sure what to say. Abby though, sweet, sweet Abby, understands immediately.

 

“Oh.” She says before smiling at her. “It was about time.”

 

“Nothing happened.”

 

The researcher frowns, clearly not following. 

 

“It was a week ago, before the game actually, when you and Patty were out at the bar, but then you guys kinda walked in before anything happened. It’s just a little confusing now.”

 

“Shit. We suck.”

 

“My thoughts exactly.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“Sorry.”

 

They stare at each other before bursting out into laughter. Just as Abby is about to ask something else, someone is knocking at the door of the lab.

 

“Yo! Guys! We just got a call, we have to go! Gear up!”

* * *

 

 

It’s a tough call. It’s a large abandoned building somewhere in Brooklyn and they find a total of four ghosts. Holtzmann has a hard time keeping her own ghost under control while still trying to check if the others are okay. Sure, the Rowan Incident was way worse, but it’s been some time since then and their usual busts now include one, sometimes two, ghosts.

 

It happens so quickly. She’s in control, her proton stream wrapping around the ghost and keeping it at a safe distance away from her. She makes the mistake of thinking it’s okay to look away and turns her head around. Erin’s closest to her, so close that Holtzmann notices the sweat on her forehead while she opens her trap, almost done now.

 

“Go Erin!” She yells, the redhead turning her head to smile at her. It’s the most honest smile she’s seen in a while. Her smile suddenly fades, though, and she’s holding up her hand.

 

“Holtzmann!” Erin shouts, blonde immediately turning around, just in time to see her ghost breaking free from the grip of the proton stream and rushing towards her. She’s knocked off her feet, falling backward on the hard concrete floor.

 

Within seconds, Erin is by her side, shooting at the ghost with her gun and calling out for Abby and Patty to come help her as soon as they possibly can. Holtzmann tries to get up, but Erin is shaking her head.

 

“Stay down.”

 

She wants to argue, wants to say that she’s fine and that she can help, but then she tries to turn around and everything hurts. She’s pretty sure nothing’s broken, though, because she’s had her fair share of broken ribs and this feels different. Still, it hurts. The worst part? She can’t seem to find her yellow tinted glasses. The ghost must have knocked them off her face and now she can’t find them.

 

She tries to turn her head to look for it, but it’s hard and all she wants to do is close her eyes.

 

“Hey, hey. Stay with me.” Erin suddenly says, sounding softer than Holtzmann has ever heard her.

 

“I’m here.” She responds, smiling even though her eyes are closed.

 

“Are you hurt?”

 

Holtzmann reaches for Erin’s hand. “I’m okay. Really.” She opens her eyes then, and can immediately see how relieved Erin looks when she makes eye contact with her.

 

“Just-“

 

She doesn’t have to say anything else. Abby, who had been watching the interaction between Erin and Holtzmann, ducks down to retrieve the blonde’s glasses from where they had been laying at her feet. As she picks them up, she notices the broken glass.

 

“Holtz, I’m so sorry.” She holds the glasses up so Holtzmann can see. It’s not one of her good ones, because she doesn’t bring those along on busts. Still, she groans and shields her eyes with her hands.

 

“You still have your good pair back the firehouse, don’t you?’ Erin asks, not sure why this is such a big deal.

 

“Yeah.” She responds, not really wanting to explain to Erin right now why she really, really needs them.

 

“Let’s go then, baby.” Patty says, helping Erin to pull Holtzmann up to her feet. She stumbles a little bit, then manages to stand still and smile at her friends.

 

“Thanks, guys.”

 

* * *

 

 They arrive at the firehouse about thirty minutes later. Despite Holtzmann’s protests, Abby had been the one driving the car, because she knew how unsafe it was for Holtzmann to drive in her current condition.

 

The longer they were in the car, the quieter she had become, not even able to answer anymore whenever Patty or Erin asked her something. Instead, she leaned forward, her head resting in her hands while she rubbed circles on her temples with her thumbs.

 

Erin had noticed, but figured Holtzmann didn’t feel like talking about it.

 

They were back at the firehouse now, Holtzmann face down on the couch and murmuring something Erin didn’t quite understand. Patty and Abby were on the second floor of the lab, putting the ghost in the containment unit (something that Holtz had taught all of them, in case of emergency’s).

 

“Do you need something?” Erin asks as she walks closer.

 

“Glasses.” Holtzmann responds, still not turning her head around.

 

“Oh, okay. Are they in your lab?”

 

A nod.

 

“I’ll be right back.”

 

She returns with the glasses, some pain medication and a glass of water, which she places on the table in front of Holtzmann. The blonde reaches for the glasses first, turning around to face Erin once they’re back in place.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“No problem.” Erin answers, wondering why the glasses are so important. It seems rude to ask, though. She watches as the engineers takes her medication before lowering herself back down.

 

“Irlen Syndrome.” Holtzmann suddenly speaks after about a minute or so of silence.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“That’s why I need the glasses.”

 

Erin has heard about it, remembers reading an article about it a long time ago. “Light sensitivity?” She asks, because she doesn’t remember everything.

 

“Yeah.” Holtzmann responds, smiling softly at her. She takes a deep breath then. “When I was little I was diagnosed with dyslexia. I had trouble reading and I got a lot of headaches. Years later, when I was in high school, they figured out that dyslexia was only part of the problem.”

 

Erin reaches out to hold her hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. She nods and lets the blonde know that it’s okay, that she can talk about it if she wants to.

 

“Yeah, so, well.. the doctors figured out that I was sensitive to light and certain colors, mostly blue. They trigger migraine attacks and cause dyslexia. I got colored glasses, which was a huge difference. They calm my brain, help me filter out all the distracting light and help me process information.”

 

By the time Holtzmann stops talking, Erin is staring at her with a somewhat sad look in her eyes. She had no idea Holtzmann struggled with this.

 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” She says, surprised at how hoarse her voice sounds.

 

Holtzmann chuckles. “There was no way you could have known. Besides, it’s totally okay. I can read perfectly when I have the glasses, and I don’t get headaches that often anymore.”

 

Erin softly smiles. “Your head must really be hurting right now.”

 

“A little.”

 

“Lay down.” The redhead says as she gestures towards her own lap. Holtzmann isn’t sure if she should for a moment, because they still haven’t talked about anything yet and she doesn’t want to push Erin.

 

“Please, Holtz.” Erin insists.

 

She immediately turns around and lays down.

 

“Keep your eyes closed.” The physicist says as she removes the blonde’s glasses from her face, being careful to keep them close in case Holtzmann wants to get up. Then, she places her fingers on her temples and starts rubbing in small circles. Holtzmann has to stop herself from moaning because it just feels _so_ good.

 

“That really helps.” She says instead, and she doesn’t need to open her eyes to know that Erin is smiling at her.

 

“Good. Now be quiet.”

 

“Yes, doctor.”

 

Erin rolls her eyes, fully aware that Holtzmann doesn’t need to see her to know she’s doing it. She doesn’t stop rubbing her temples, though, in fact, she doesn’t stop until Holtzmann is pretty much asleep on her lap. Patty and Abby walked in about ten minutes ago, not even saying anything as they noticed what was happening. Abby did raise an eyebrow, though.

 

“Holtz.” She says softly. She doesn’t really want Holtzmann to wake up, or move away from her even the slightest bit. However, her legs are killing her and she’s still in her jumpsuit (which is, luckily for the both of them, not covered in ectoplasm for once). Besides, if Holtzmann sleeps now she’ll probably be awake again all night.

 

The blonde hums to let her know that she’s awake.

 

“Jillian.”

 

She opens her eyes then. Apparently calling the engineer by her first name worked much better. She definitely had to keep that in mind.

 

“My legs are sort of killing me right now.”

 

“Shit. Sorry.” Holtzmann says, moving away from her quickly, reaching for her glasses and putting them on as she sits up.

 

“How are you feeling?” The physicist asks her, smiling softly as she sees how messy her hair looks from laying on Erin’s lap for such a long time. Suddenly she wonders what it looks like when she just wakes up, preferably right next to Erin. Is that really too much to ask?

 

“Better. Really. Thank you so much, Erin.”

 

Erin beams at her, enjoying seeing the softer side of Holtzmann once again. “It’s no problem.”

 

There’s a moment of silence then, and everything suddenly feels very much like a déjà vu. They’re on the same couch again, and there’s this similar silence between the two of them. She’s sure Holtzmann is thinking about their two almost-kisses as well, because she’s awfully quiet, and she’s avoiding eye contact. Holtzmann reaches for her glass then, which Erin assumes is only because it feels weird to just sit there. She wishes she had a glass of water herself as well, but she’s left fidgeting with her fingers.

 

“About what happened-“ Holtzmann says after she takes a few sips, because she can’t deny what’s happening any longer. She needs to know, no matter what the answer is going to be. Not knowing might actually be worse than Erin not feeling the same way about her.

 

“I don’t regret it.” Erin blurts out. She’s not even sure where that’s coming from. Did she really just say that? It’s true, though, she doesn’t regret it. In fact, she wishes that they hadn’t been interrupted. Both times.

 

“You don’t regret that we were uh, were interrupted, so to say, or the fact that we almost made out?”

 

Erin chuckles then, finding it endearing that Holtzmann needs clarification, as if the look in her eyes isn’t enough.

 

“I don’t regret that we almost kissed.”

 

“Good. That’s good.” Holtzmann responds, releasing a breath she didn’t even know she’d been holding.

 

Erin smiles even wider then, reaching out to hold Holtzmann’s wrist and using it to pull her a bit closer. She sees how the blonde’s eyes move down from her eyes to her lips, her own tongue reaching out to wet said lips.

 

Holtzmann leans in, just like she’d done before. Erin leans in as well, making sure to pay attention to her surroundings so they won’t be disturbed this time. Abby and Patty are still upstairs, will probably be for a while based on the look that Abby gave her before they left. Kevin is out having another hide and seek tournament. They’re truly alone.

 

Holtzmann still hasn’t kissed her, and Erin finds it sweet that she’s waiting for her to make the final move. She understands, though, understands that Holtzmann needs this. She squeezes the engineer’s wrist, then pulls on it harshly in an effort to bring her closer to her as quickly as possibly. Suddenly the blonde yelps and practically jumps off the couch. For a second Erin is confused, but then she sees it. Holtzmann’s lower body is completely soaked. Apparently, the physicist had forgotten about the glass of water that Holtzmann was still holding in her hand when she had pulled on her wrist to bring her closer to her. The water was now everywhere, and the moment was most definitely ruined.                                                        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About Holtz's light sensitivity. Irlen syndrome is real. I did as much research about it as I could, but obviously I'm not a doctor and it's possible that I made mistakes. I do apologize if this is the case. 
> 
> I hope you all have an amazing morning/afternoon/evening wherever you are! <3


	4. I blame the Universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 everybody!!
> 
> I want to thank you all again for the kudos and comments! They really make me smile during my busy days <3
> 
> Hope you like this chapter! It's definitely lighter than the last one :) 
> 
> xx E

"Holtzy." Patty says as she storms into her lab late the next day. "What did you do?"

 

The blonde groans as she puts her tools down and leans her elbows on the table.

 

"Why does everyone assume I did something?! Really, it's the universe we should blame here for interrupting not just once, or twice, but freaking three times!"

 

Patty frowns. "I have to blame the universe for putting some kind of nuclear thingy on top of Kevin's desk and almost getting us all blown up?"

 

Aha. Shit. So this wasn't about Erin. "Uh- yeah?"

 

"Baby, you know I'm a big fan of blaming things on the universe..." she hands the device the back to Holtzmann, "But could ya do me a favor and kindly ask the universe to lock this shit up or something?"

 

"Will do." She winks at her then, causing Patty to scoff before turning around.

 

"One last thing, though, you might wanna kiss Erin or something, because her nervous fidgeting is driving me crazy."

 

Patty had known about Holtzmann's crush on Erin for quite some time now, and had always told her to just go for it because she had a feeling that Erin was pretty into her as well. (Actually, it was more than just a feeling, but Holtzmann didn't know this).

 

"I'm trying Pattycakes, trust me."

 

"Okay then. Well, that's enough information for me. We're gonna go out for drinks later tonight. You coming with?"

 

She grins almost wickedly. "Of course. Someone has to keep an eye on you crazy kids."

 

"You do realize that you're more than 10 years younger than us, right?"

 

The blonde mutters something in agreement and Patty takes this as her cue to leave the engineer alone again.

 

* * *

  
A couple of hours later, Erin is shouting at her from the bottom of the stairs.

 

"Holtz! Come on! We're going to leave without you if you don't come down right now!"

 

"One second!" She yells back, leaving the bathroom with a towel still on her head. She ended up spilling motor oil all over herself about twenty minutes ago. Normally, she would be fine with this, but this time it wasn't only her clothing that was covered in the stuff. It was all over her hands and arms and some of it had even ended up in her hair.

 

So she had no choice but to shower just before they were about to leave and now she didn't have enough time to do her hair. She quickly put on her 'one of the boys' shirt and some decent looking black pants that she only wore outside of the lab. Then, she unwrapped the towel from her head and threw it onto one of the chairs.

 

"Holtzm-" Someone says behind her, and she immediately recognizes the voice to be Erin's.

 

As she turns around she can see how flushed the redhead looks, something that makes her smile instantly. She knows by now Erin is attracted to her, but had never expected her to react like this because of something as simple as her with wet hair and decent looking clothes. She wonders what would happen if she would actually dress up for once. She keeps that in mind for later.

 

"Hey, hot stuff."

 

Erin realizes she hasn't said anything for a full minute, has just been gawking at Holtzmann.

 

"Uh-hi."

 

The blonde smirks, deciding not to torture Erin anymore. "I got motor oil all over myself, so I had to take a shower. I'm almost done, though, just need to grab some money."

 

"Cool." Erin responds, a little too quickly. She awkwardly clears her throat before speaking again. "I mean uh, that's good. Let's go then."

 

* * *

  
Holtzmann, Erin realizes, has really beautiful hair. They've been at the bar for about an hour now, and she's spend most of the hour staring at it. Now that it's fully dry, it looks even more gorgeous than it had back at the lab. Her curls are wild and all Erin wants to do is stroke her hair because it just looks so _soft_.

 

She doesn't even realize she's doing it (and she's definitely blaming the alcohol for that), but suddenly one of her hands has reached out and is playing with one of the curls. She's not even looking at it (for once), just playing with it while she listens to the joke Abby is telling. Holtzmann shifts in her seat beside her, pressing her leg to hers before turning her head around to smile at Erin. The movement causes the curl to slip from between her fingers, and her hand is left hanging in the air.

 

"What are you doing?" Holtzmann asks, a twinkle in her eyes and a smile on her face.

 

"Nothing." Erin responds, immediately lowering her hand.

 

The engineer's smile only widens. "Didn't say I minded."

 

"Okay." Abby suddenly stands up and pulls on Patty's arm to get her up as well. "Well, this is _super_ great to watch and stuff, but me and Patty are really thirsty so we're going to get the next round."

 

Holtzmann laughs while Erin just ducks her head down and tries to hide how flushed her cheeks look right now.

 

"Guess we freaked them out." The redhead says once they're truly alone, finally looking up to make eye contact with the gorgeous blonde next to her.

 

"Guess so, though they can't really complain."

 

Erin grins. "Yeah, I've seen Patty make out with enough guys at this bar for a lifetime."

 

Holtzmann laughs at that, and she wishes she could hear that sound every minute of every day.

 

"True." The engineer says once she finally stops laughing. "Plus, we weren't even making out or anything."

 

Erin groans and lets her head fall down. "Don't remind me."

 

Holtzmann is pretty sure her jaw drops to the floor then, had Erin really just said that? I mean, they had pretty much established that they both wanted this, but still.. It wasn't very Erin-like to just say it like that.

 

"My my Gilbert, you really wanna kiss me that badly?"

 

"Shut up Holtzmann." She says, but her voice sounds muffled since she still hasn't picked her head up from the table.

 

"I will, most definitely, never shut up about the fact that Erin Gilbert wants to kiss me."

 

Finally, she raises her head, immediately rolling her eyes at the smug look on Holtzmann's face.

 

"Yeah, well, you wanna kiss me too." Is all she manages to come up with.

 

The smile on Holtzmann's face widens and she leans in closer. For a second Erin thinks she's going to kiss her right then, right there, but then she stops, her lips inches away from Erin's.

 

"That's not really anything new, is it now?"

 

Erin pulls back a little, because she just can't focus with Holtzmann so close to her. "When exactly did you want to kiss me for the first time?"

 

"Oh." The blonde responds, shifting back and putting some distance between them. "Didn’t expect a serious question."

 

Erin mistakes this as her being uncomfortable and reaches out to touch Holtzmann's bare upper arm. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer. I totally under-"

 

"At the mansion."

 

"Excuse me?"

 

"I wanted to kiss you for the first time at the Aldridge mansion. You looked so happy in that moment, just jumping up and down because you just saw a ghost. Plus, the bowtie and ectoplasm look was really working for me." She waggles her eyebrows.

 

Erin rolls her eyes at the last comment before turning more serious. “You really wanted to kiss me back then?”

 

"Yeah. Really. What about you, Gilbert?"

 

She thinks about it for a second, because it feels like she's been falling for Holtzmann so slowly, and it's hard to pinpoint a moment of when she first realized she wanted to kiss her. It's just like she woke up one day and it had been completely normal to fantasize about kissing her, as if she'd always done so.

 

"Uh. I don't really know. It's been a while, though."

 

Holtzmann is beaming at her then, and Erin realizes she must have been thinking this was all pretty recent for her. She had no idea how long Erin had been wanting to kiss that smile off her face. She realizes she never wants Holtzmann to doubt her feelings towards her anymore.

 

She pushes forward, desperate to feels the blonde's lips against her own.

 

For a second the engineer's eyes widen, but then she closes them and reaches out to pull Erin closer to her.

 

Suddenly, Erin is falling against her (had she really pulled that hard?!) and completely misses her lips but crashes into her and Holtz struggles to keep them both upright.

 

"What the hell?" She asks as she now notices the man that has fallen down on top of Erin's back.

 

"Shit." The physicist curses, the weight of the man on her back hurting her more than she'd like to admit. "Get off me."

 

"You okay?" Holtz asks her.

 

"Peachy, thanks."

 

She pushes back but the man is pretty much unconscious and way too drunk to notice she's talking to him at all.

 

"Jesus Christ." Someone speaks and Holtzmann peers over Erin's shoulder to see Patty and Abby standing next to the booth.

 

"Yeah so.. a little help would be great."

 

Patty laughs before pulling the man off her and pushing him away from them. Abby can't help but burst into laughter as she sees Erin still laying half on top of the engineer, who looks pretty pissed off (she's also sure this is not because of the man).

 

Holtzmann makes eye contact with Patty and raises an eyebrow as she gestures towards the woman laying in her lap. "I blame the universe."


	5. Are we cursed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! 
> 
> sorry for not posting yesterday! I literally didn't even have more than five minutes of time for myself yesterday so I couldn't post :(  
> I hope this chapter makes up for the longer wait :)
> 
> As always, thanks for all the comments and kudos! Let me know what you think of this one :)
> 
> xx E

“I can’t believe this.”

Erin’s pacing around her apartment, a glass of wine in her hand.

“Baby, come sit down.”

“I can’t. I’m too frustrated.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

Erin finishes her glass before finally allowing herself to sit down and take a deep breath for what feels like the first time after they left the bar two hours ago. It’s pretty late already, almost 1 AM.

“Please, just talk to me.” Patty says as she reaches out to touch Erin’s knee.

The physicist just groans in response, dropping her head down in her hands.

“I just think that maybe this is all some kind of sign.”

“A sign?”

“Yes, a sign that we shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Baby, are you crazy?” She pulls on Erin’s wrist to get her to look at her, and the historian can see how her eyes have watered, making it clear just how frustrated Erin is.

“Have you seen the way that Holtzy looks at you? Okay, wait of course you haven’t or else you two idiots would probably have kissed months ago and Abby and I wouldn’t be going through this hell right now.”

She unlocks her phone before showing a picture to Erin that Abby had sent her only minutes ago. The redhead chuckles when she sees it. Holtzmann is laying, face down, on the floor in Abby’s apartment. She’s spread out like a starfish and there’s an empty beer bottle next to her.

“Yeah, see?”

She chuckles. “Thanks, Patty.” Erin says then, still amazed at how easily her friends always managed to cheer her up.

“No problem. All I’m sayin is that you two need to stop with the crazy stuff. You’re making this way bigger than it should be. You like her, she likes you. Basically, you’ve already kissed. Hell, basically you’re already married.”

“Maybe. But I sort of would actually like to kiss her sometime soon, if that’s not too much to ask.”

Patty laughs. “Just stop worrying so much and just relax. Be friends. The two of you need to let this go because it’s only making you guys more annoying to be around.”

“More annoying?”

“Yeah, you honestly think we haven’t seen how you guys stare at each other all day? How Holtzmann always finishes your stuff first? Or how you only bring Holtzmann coffee from the nice place five blocks over? We like coffee too, just so you know.”

“Sorry.”

“Nah, don’t apologize. It’s cute, but don’t tell Abby I said that or she’s gonna kill me.”

Erin laughs. “I won’t. I promise. And I’ll stop worrying about it too.”

“Good.”

* * *

 

She does stop worrying, and so does Holtzmann, making it pretty clear that she and Abby had a similar conversation to the one she had with Patty three days ago.

It’s not like they’ve given up, or anything like that. They just stopped putting pressure on the kiss and moved on. Obviously, all she wants to do right now is slam Holtzmann against a wall and kiss her senseless, but she has a feeling that if she were to do that, something would probably fall down on their heads, or they would be interrupted by another ghost call, or someone would walk in, or something like that.

So, for now, she’s fine with just being around Holtzmann and laughing at her stupid jokes and even stupider dancing (okay, both of these things she actually really likes about the blonde, but she’s not going to tell her that). The engineer flirts even more now that she knows Erin likes her, and there’s more touching too. She often leans in closer to Erin when she’s explaining something, and sometimes she randomly hugs her from behind while the redhead is working on an equation.

Really, she can wait a little bit longer if it means this is what she’ll get this in the meantime.

Currently, Erin is in the lab working on an equation while Holtzmann works on Patty’s ghost chipper. There’s music on as well, but not as loud as usual. They’re not even talking, just quietly enjoying the other’s presence. It feels different, without the usual tension.

“You okay Gilbert?” Holtz asks, noticing how Erin has stopped writing.

“Oh yeah. I’m good. I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

She knows her cheeks are heating up. “Uh- work.”

“Really?” Holtzmann asks, a teasing smile on her face.

“Yes.” Erin says, although it doesn’t sound very convincing.

Luckily for her, Holtzmann just winks at her and picks up a wrench to continue working. “Cool. Let me know if you need any help.”

* * *

They have another ghost to bust that afternoon. Abby and Patty stay behind at the firehouse, because they don’t really need four people to bust one ghost. Besides, as cute as Holtzmann and Erin are, they don’t need to be around that all the time.

The owner of the house is some kind of rich man, haunted by his ex-wife. It’s sort of funny and at some point they’re almost rooting for the ex-wife. She’s angry, clearly. Throwing things at him, screaming, making funny faces behind his back.

“Do we really wanna bust this ghost? He probably deserves it.” Holtzmann says as she watches how the ghost is arguing with him, accusing him of cheating multiple times during their marriage. He’s not even denying it.

“Please, please!” The man says, focusing on Erin and Holtzmann again, having overheard their conversation. “You have to help me. I’ll pay double!”

“It’s alright, sir.” Erin responds, reaching for her gun. “She was just joking.”

“Was I?” Holtzmann whispers, causing Erin to playfully swat her elbow.

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop. Yeah- uh, mister? You might want to move unless you wanna turn into ashes or somethin'.”

The man nods and moves to stand behind them. Immediately, the girls fire up their guns.

“Really sorry about this ma’am. Men do suck sometimes, I’m sure he deserved it.”

“Hey!” The man yells, though they can’t really hear him over the screaming of the ghost.

It doesn’t take too long. Apparently, she’d used all of her power on the man already, making her unable to fight back against Holtz and Erin. The physicist opens the containment unit and within five minutes she’s locked up.

“Nice!” Holtzmann says as she wraps her arms around Erin and hugs her. It only lasts for a few seconds, but it’s enough to make her a nervous mess by the time the engineer lets go of her.

“Thank you both so much.” The man says then, shaking both their hands. “I’m just going to write the check. I will be back in about ten minutes, if that’s fine with you.”

“Sure thing.”

As soon as the man is out of the room, Holtzmann turns to face at Erin, smiling softly at her.

“Don’t smile at me like that.” Erin says, her cheeks heating up once more. She turns her head away from Holtzmann, even though it’s probably too late by now.

“Why?” Holtzmann asks, reaching out to touch Erin’s shoulder.

She takes a deep breath before turning back to face the blonde again.

“Because it makes me want to kiss you.”

“Then kiss me.”

“I would, but Patty said that maybe we shouldn’t push it so much, instead enjoy just being around each other.”

“And don’t get me wrong, I do. But Gilbert, I’d actually like to kiss you some time, if that’s not too much to ask.”

Erin chuckles then, causing the blonde to frown. “I’m sorry, but that’s exactly what I told Patty too. Still, though, if I would kiss you this house would probably explode, or Mr. Kinney would suddenly remember he forgot to ask us something, or I’d hit you in the face.”

“Why would you hit me in the face?”

“Well, because I’d probably reach out to pull you closer but knowing our luck so far my hand would just _slip_ and I’d punch you and you’d have a black eye and-“

“Erin. You need to stop talking right now.”

Holtzmann smiles softly and reaches out to stroke her cheek. “Mr. Kinney is on the second floor, will be for at least 6 more minutes. Abby and Patty aren’t here. You’re not going to hit me in the face.”

Erin waits a few seconds before nodding. Immediately, the blonde beams and leans in closer. “I’m going to kiss you now, if that’s okay?”

The redhead nods slowly, reaching out for Holtzmann’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. The blonde’s smile widens even more, her eyes flickering between Erin’s eyes and lips. She’s leaning in. Nothing can go wrong now.. right?

Apparently, it can. All of the sudden, there’s a loud bang. Before they can react at all, the containment unit bursts open and the ghost bursts loose. Holtzmann jumps away and fires up her proton gun, her reflexes faster than Erin’s. The physicist is frozen in place, the ghost getting closer and closer to her. Holtzmann is fighting it, trying to get it under control.

“Erin! Move!” The engineer yells.

It’s too late.

The ghost screams and ecto projects all over her, covering her from head to toe in slime.

“Oh god.” She hears Holtzmann say as the blonde looks at her before finally destroying the ghost, not trusting the faulty containment unit anymore.

As soon as the ghost is gone she turns towards Erin, who has wiped some of the slime out of her eyes and is staring at her with a blank expression on her face. “Yeah, that seems about right.”

* * *

Hours later, Erin is sitting on her couch in her apartment. She just had a late dinner and is now enjoying a movie by herself. The girls invited her to hang out with them, but she really just wanted to be alone right now.

Maybe they were cursed, or something.

There had to be a reason why this kept happening. There no longer was a logical explanation.

A part of her wanted to give up, because it would probably be easier. She wouldn’t have to worry anymore and nobody would get hurt. It wasn’t what she really wanted, but she’d gotten over people before, it wasn’t like she couldn’t do it again. However, usually, she didn’t have to be around that person every minute of every single day. No, there was simply no way she could just give up on them like that, right?

Her phone buzzed then.

 **Holtz. 9:01 PM**  
**Hey.. I don’t know if you still wanna talk to me or not..**

 _Erin. 9:01 PM_  
_Why would I not want to talk to you?_

 **Holtz. 9:02 PM**  
**Dunno.. you left kinda sudden after what happened. i know u had the slime everywhere but i just really wanted to talk to you.**

She didn’t know how to respond. Maybe Holtzmann wanted to give up. Maybe she’d had enough of this. The blonde could probably get any girl she wanted, why should she waste her time (and risk her life) by trying to be with Erin.

 _Erin. 9:04 PM_  
_Why?_

This was it. Holtzmann was probably going to say something like ‘because I think that we should stop’ or ‘because I’m not sure this is worth it’.

 **Holtz. 9:05 PM**  
**Why? because the god damn universe has freaking stopped me from kissing you again and i thought that we could have a drink and** i **dunno.. yell at it for a bit? but if you don’t want to and want to stop whatever is going on between us, that’s fine..** i **mean.. i know it’s frustrating.**

 _Erin. 9:05 PM_  
_No, I don’t want that at all. Yelling sounds good to me._

 **Holtz. 9:10 PM**   
**Good. that’s good. I’ll be right there, okay? And no crazy stuff, I promise. Just two friends, some beer, and a serious conversation with the universe.**

 _Erin. 9:11 PM_  
_That sounds perfect._

* * *

When Erin wakes up the next day the first thing she notices is that her head is pounding. The second thing she notices is that she’s laying on top of someone else.

“Oh my god. Holtzmann?”

“Stop yelling.”

“I’m not yelling.”

“Oh.”

She moves away from the blonde, who looks just about as terrible as she’s feeling.

“What did we do last night?” She asks, her mouth so dry it almost hurts. She stands, almost falling over when she does, and then moves into the kitchen to get some water for the both of them.

“I honestly have no idea. I remember talking, and laughing, and beer, and then it’s just black.”

“Same for me.” Erin responds, slowly making her way back towards the couch and handing over the glass of water.

Holtzmann thanks her. “What time is it anyway?”

Erin shrugs her shoulders. “I’ll check.” She reaches for her phone, her eyes widening instantly when she notices the amount of new messages. “Oh my god.”

“What?” Holtzmann asks, shielding her eyes from the harsh sunlight.

“We sent like, a million messages to the others last night. And there’s a video too.”

“Are you serious?”

Just as she’s about to turn the screen around her phone starts ringing. She picks up instantly, putting it on speaker so Holtz can listen as well.

“Hi Abby.”

“Don’t ‘hi Abby’ me right now. You two kept me up all night.”

“Don’t yell please, I have a headache.”

“So do I.”

“We’re sorry.” Erin says, even though she’s not even really sure what she’s apologizing for.

“Yeah, well.. you should be. I hope it was worth it..”

She frowns, and so does Holtzmann.

“Sorry, what?” Holtzmann asks.

“The kiss, you idiots. I hope it was worth keeping me and Patty up.”

Abby continues talking, but neither of them is listening anymore. Holtzmann’s mouth is open, staring at her with a shocked expression that matches her own.

“I think we uh-“ The blonde says, “I think we need to watch that video.”

 


	6. No Pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY IT'S THE SIXTH CHAPTER YAY! 
> 
> It took me a bit longer because I got even busier and really wanted to make some changes to the chapter. However, I do hope that you all like this one, it's a pretty long chapter so yay! 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes!
> 
> xx E
> 
> Don't forget to share your thoughts, I'd love to hear your opinions on this one

They arrive at the firehouse about fifty minutes later, still in shock – and probably even more confused – about what happened last night.

“So..” Patty says as soon as they walk through the front door. “Good afternoon. You guys had fun last night I assume?”

Holtzmann turns to look at Erin, not sure what she should say. “Uh, yeah. I guess.”

Patty scoffs. “I should hope so, now that you crazy kids have finally managed to make out and stuff.”

Erin blushes and ducks her head down. “Uh yeah.. about that.. we’re not sure that actually happened..”

“What?!” Patty almost shouts, “How can you not be sure? Wait, do I even wanna know the answer to that question?”

Erin rolls her eyes. “Well.. the video is not exactly proof..”

“Yeah, and neither of us remembers anything.” Holtzmann adds.

“Good lord. So let me get this straight, or gay if you will, you two finally – or well.. possibly - managed to kiss without any near death experiences or other kind of bullshit, and now you don’t remember?”

“Uh yeah. That’s about it.” Holtzmann responds.

“But what about the video huh?”

“Well,” Erin says, “I mean, all we’re doing is saying-“

“Saying? More like yelling.”

“Yeah, well, anyways, all we do is _say_ that we kissed. You don’t actually see us kissing.”

“And the smug look on Holtzy’s face isn’t enough?”

They turn to look at each other then. They had, of course, noticed how they were both practically beaming in the video. Big smiles and shining eyes as they hugged and told the camera they just kissed. They were so happy. There wasn’t really anything to make them believe they didn’t kiss, except for the fact that they didn’t tape it and Holtzmann claims she would have remembered kissing Erin, no matter how drunk she was. Also, they secretly didn’t want to believe it, hoped that they still had a chance at a magical, or well, something like that, first kiss.

Patty seems to understand. “But I mean, hey, if you don’t remember it doesn’t really count, huh?”

Erin smiles. “Yeah, I mean, I think so.”

Holtzmann is about to ask something when Abby enters, holding a magazine in her hand. “Morning, you two. I got us some coffee’s because I have a feeling we all really need it.”

“Sorry about that.” Holtzmann says, although she doesn’t really look like she’s sorry.

“At least you managed to kiss, huh?”

“About that-“ Erin says, but is interrupted by Patty who shoots her a look before turning towards Abby. She understands. It’s probably better not to talk about that right now, because Abby can get pretty cranky when she’s had a short night.

“Are those our magazine’s?”

“Uh- yeah, and I think that we might have a little problem, because they wrote something about us..” The brunette answers. She then clears her throat before reading the title of the article out loud.

**_“Busted!-“_ **

“That’s terrible wordplay.” Holtz interrupts.

“Holtzy!”

“Okay, okay. Continue.”

**_“Busted! Exclusive photos of the newest ‘Ghostbusters’ couple!”_ **

It stays silent for a few seconds.

“Well.. that was certainly fast. Did we tell the whole goddamn universe yesterday or what?” Holtzmann says as she looks at Erin.

Abby just shakes her head, then turns the paper around so they can look at the pictures.

“WHAT?!” All three girls say at the same time.

Erin stares at the article, not sure what to do. It’s her, alright. But it’s not Holtzmann. No, there’s a picture of her and goddamn Kevin during the ‘Spin the bottle’ game, along with some pictures of them that were taken outside of the firehouse while they were just having friendly conversations.

“How did this happen?” Holtzmann asks, suddenly feeling much worse. Sure, she didn’t like the idea of the whole world knowing something was going on between her and Erin, especially since they hadn’t figured it out for themselves yet, but it was certainly better than everyone thinking Erin was dating Kevin.

“I don’t know.” Abby says as she shrugs her shoulders.

“How did they get that picture?” Erin asks Patty, her voice a bit shaky.

“Honestly, baby, I don’t know. I posted it online, as you know, but my account is private. Only a few people can see it. I’m so sorry.”

She smiles softly at Patty. “No uh, it’s not your fault. We just have to find a way to fix this.”

It’s true, it’s not Patty’s fault. The historian had asked her for permission before posting it online and she’d said it was fine. It wasn’t even the most embarrassing picture of her on the other woman’s account. The most embarrassing one Patty had taken of her and Holtzmann when they had fallen asleep literally on top of each other on the couch, with Erin laying on the blonde’s chest, drooling all over her.

The phone rings then, and not surprisingly, Kevin isn’t there, so Abby answers it.

“That was Jennifer.” She says as she returns, the girls bend over the magazine and reading the horrific article. As horrible as this whole situation was, Erin thought it was also kind of funny how much stuff they’d made up, or exaggerated.

“What did she want?” Patty asks.

“Well… she saw the article. She basically just wanted to say congrats, but then I told her the story..”

“And?” Erin asks, gesturing for her to continue.

“She’s not happy. She says you guys have to keep this up for at least a little while, or else it will be very bad publicity. Plus, it will make the government look bad.”

“Fuck the government.”

“Holtz.”

“Sorry, I just-“ She stops then, realizing she doesn’t really have a say in this. Erin isn’t her girlfriend, she’s just a girl she likes (maybe more, but she’s not ready to admit that yet) and may or may not have drunkenly kissed. “I’m just going to go up to the lab.” She says instead, not giving anyone a chance to say anything in response.

* * *

**_Three weeks later._ **

They haven’t talked to each other. After Holtzmann stormed away from them that day the first article came out, she hasn’t said much more than a couple of words to Erin. She spends most of her time in the lab, the door closed, and leaves really late in the evening. At first, Erin wanted to give her some space, figured that that’s what she needed. After about a week she tried talking to her for the first time. Holtzmann barely responded to her. She tried again a week later. Nothing. Now, it’s been three weeks, and Erin has had about enough.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” The physicist asks, storming into the lab exactly three weeks later.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Holtzmann answers without looking up from her work.

“Are you kidding me?”

“No.”

“Holtzmann.”

Silence.

“Look at me.”

She doesn’t.

“Goddammit Jillian, look at me!”

She does then, struggling to keep the tears from her eyes.

“You can’t do this to me.” Erin says, her voice much softer. She moves closer to the engineer.

Holtzmann shakes her head, taking a step backward. “Please-“ her voice breaks, “Erin, please don’t.”

“Why?” She asks. “I know that you like me-“

“It’s more than that Erin, and I think you know that. You’re not just some random girl to me. I can’t just be like ‘oh bummer, she’s with him now, I’ll just find someone else’.”

“I’m not with Kevin.”

“Yeah, not really, but only the five of us know that.. I can’t be with you when every time we step outside there’s some dude waiting to ask you questions about your wonderful relationship with Kevin, and what the plans for your future are, while I’m sitting here, alone.”

“I already told Jennifer I’m going to tell them.”

“You can’t.”

“I want to.”

“I know, but you can’t. This is actually working for us, and I think you can see that too. We’re more popular now, and people are less skeptical about calling us.”

Erin sighs deeply. Of course Holtzmann is right, she usually is. “This is hard for me too, you know. I don’t want this. I want to be with _you_ , Holtz. I want to hold _your_ hand when I’m walking outside, take pictures with _you_ when we finish busting a ghost.”

Holtzmann’s finally looking at her, tears escaping from her eyes and falling down her cheeks.

“Jillian.” Erin says, “I lo-“

“Don’t.” Holtzmann pleads. “Please- Erin- god, please. Just don’t.”

Erin’s crying too now. “I’m sorry.” She says, “I just wanted you to know. I wish this could have worked out differently.”

“Yeah, me too.”

* * *

**_Another week later._ **

“Oh my god.” Patty says as she walks into the firehouse the next day, magazine in her hand.

“Another one?” Abby asks, because by now they’ve gotten used to all the pictures and articles about Kevin and Erin.

“Can I see?” Kevin asks, who’s been pretty cool during this whole situation. He’s agreed to play along, because apparently, he thought it was sort of like acting, which he needed to practice anyway. Or something like that. They didn’t really understand.

Patty places the magazine on the table, loud enough for Erin to hear as well, who was just emerging from the bathroom.

“More photos?”

“Yeah.” The brunette says, sounding a bit angry.

“What did they do this time?” Erin asks, Abby already bursting out into laughter.

She reaches for the magazine, spotting the picture of her and Kevin. ‘Ghostbusters couple enjoying a romantic meal in the city’, she reads

“Wait.. I remember this.” Erin says then, because she does remember this, but it had been anything but romantic. In fact, both Abby and Patty had been present that evening.

“Patty, weren’t you sitting-“

She doesn’t even get the chance to finish her sentence.

“They fucking photoshopped me out again. I was sitting between you guys!”

Both Abby and Erin are laughing now.

“Don’t laugh! That’s not funny!”

Of course, it has the opposite effect. Both women are now clutching their stomach’s.

“I’m serious! My food is just floating there in the fucking air BECAUSE THEY CROPPED ME OUT….AGAIN!”

“Oh my god Patty. Stop. I’m going to die.” Abby manages to say, still laughing loudly.

“What’s so funny?” Holtzmann asks, immediately silencing everyone. It’s the most they’ve heard her say in the last week. She looks like she hasn’t slept in days, Erin notices.

“Uh- a new picture.” Erin responds, not sure what to say.

“Oh. Cool.”

“You want to see?” Patty asks, uncertain what to do about the situation.

“No, I’m fine. Was just coming to get some snacks.”

“Okay. Well uh, I’ll come check later, okay?” Abby says softly, to which Holtzmann just nods.

* * *

**_One day later._ **

“Holtzmann.”

A knock.

“Holtzmann, I know you’re home. Open up.”

Silence.

“I brought pizza!”

She hears movement behind the door and suddenly it’s pulled out, revealing the blonde engineer. “Well, come on in then.”

“Thanks.” Abby responds. “I uh- I was just coming in to check how you were doing, since you weren’t at work today..”

“I texted you something, right?”

“Yeah, you did. I just wanted to come by.”

“Oh, sure, okay. I’m feeling a bit better already.”

She doesn’t buy it.

“Eat.” She says as she hands her a slice of the pizza. “And talk.”

“About what?” The engineer asks, chewing loudly on her slice.

Abby raises an eyebrow, making it clear that this is not the time to play games.

“Okay then.” Holtzmann says, figuring this was bound to happen anyways. Still, she made it four weeks without having to really talk to anyone about what was going on. So she finally talks. She talks about how much she actually cares, _loves_ Erin, and how it’s breaking her heart not to be with her, talk to her, freaking kiss her. About how she also can’t, because every time they go outside the people are there, and it’s Kevin this, Kevin that, and no matter how Erin feels, she can’t do it. It’s not a healthy way to start a relationship, and she doesn’t want to do this wrong, would rather not do it at all and save her heart from even more pain and misery.

“This is going to blow over, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know. But what then?”

“Well, then I suggest that you finally kiss that girl and you two live happily ever after, or something like that.”

She chuckles. “Erin’s never going to want that.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because I’ve pushed her away. Yeah, I mean, I did it for us, to spare us, but how can we continue after this. All everybody wants is for her to be with Kevin.”

Abby scoffs then, causing Holtzmann to lift an eyebrow. “Something you wanna share?”

“Uh yeah.” The researcher says, “That’s also why I was here. Turns out Jennifer hasn’t been completely honest with us.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Abby says, “turns out that not everybody is as happy about Kevin and Erin as they first thought they would be. A lot of people are upset, because they don’t think it’s real, and they think that Kevin’s not right for Erin, that she should be with someone else.”

“She should.” Holtzmann says, trying to make a joke but it sounds sadder than she intended.

“Holtz.. They think she should be with you.”

“What?” She asks, her eyes widening immediately. “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious. Jennifer sort of mentioned it like a joke, that the media was trying so hard with the whole Kevin and Erin thing, but all everybody was talking about was you and her. Which is when I sort of explained what was going on.”

“What did she say?”

“Basically, they’re willing to help us out, come up with a story, drop the whole Kevin and Erin thing. Holtz.. this means you can be with Erin, if you want to.”

She doesn’t even know what to say to that.

“You have a chance here, Jillian. Don’t ruin it.”

“Great. So, no pressure at all..”

* * *

**_Eight days later._ **

She’s had some time to think. So has Erin, who – since five days ago – is aware of the situation as well. Holtzmann didn’t tell her herself, didn’t want to put Erin in that position. However, the other woman was getting more and more aware of the sudden decrease of pictures of her and Kevin, which is why Abby told her that Jennifer decided it just wasn’t working out. What she wasn’t aware of was that so many people really wanted her to be with Holtzmann. They all figured Erin needed to find out for herself what she wanted after the whole situation with Kevin.

However, they can’t ignore this forever, and Holtzmann at least wants to find out how Erin feels. So, they go to a bar, all five of them, and it’s the first time that they’re all together since the whole Kevin/Erin thing started. It’s less weird that Holtzmann thought it was going to be, but she has caught a number of people staring at them. She figures it’s about time they need to talk, before Erin accidentally finds out from someone else.

“Hey Erin, wanna go outside for a bit?” She shouts, the music a bit too loud for her liking anyways. Erin turns, looks slightly surprised, and then nods.

They’ve exchanged some small talk in the last couple of days, all of it initiated by Erin, which is exactly why she’s taken aback by the sudden suggestion.

As soon as they’re outside, Holtzmann breathes in deeply, the cool New York air hitting her lungs. It’s nice.

“So uh, it’s great to be-“

“Erin.” Holtzmann interrupts, not wanting to waste any more time. “I’m sorry about how I acted these last couple of weeks.”

Erin shakes her head. “No, please don’t apologize. I can’t even imagine how hard it must have been.”

“It was.” Holtzmann answers honestly, “But I still should have been there for you. I wasn’t the only one in a crappy situation. I just- I wanted to protect us from more pain.. I guess.”

Erin smiles softly, reaching over and pulling Holtzmann into her arms. The blonde immediately wraps her arms around Erin as well, holding her a bit tighter than she normally would.

“It’s okay, Holtzmann. I’m just glad it’s over.”

“Yeah, me too.” She responds, still holding onto Erin.

“Do you-“ Erin starts, “Would you maybe still want to give this a chance?” She carefully asks.

Holtzmann can hear the doubt in the other woman’s voice, causing her to pull back from the hug and stare deeply into her eyes. “Erin. I love you, _so_ much.”

The redhead smiles, and for the first time in the last couple of weeks, it actually reaches her eyes. “I love you too, Holtzmann. So that’s a yes, then?”

Holtzmann nods enthusiastically, then clears her throat and turns more serious. “Erin Gilbert, will you go on a date with me?”

The physicist laughs. “Yes! Of course, you idiot.”

Holtzmann smirks at her, then reaches out to pull her closer to her. Just as their lips are about to touch, the door of the bar is pulled open, and Kevin walks over.

“You gotta be kidding me.” Holtzmann says, pulling away from Erin.

“Hey, guys!” Kevin says, his voice as cheerful as ever.

“Hi.” They both respond, eager to get away from everyone.

Suddenly, a group of photographers and random people rushes towards them, and within a second they’re surrounded. She’s vaguely aware of Patty and Abby joining them as well, their eyes focused on Erin and Holtz.

“Dr. Gilbert!” One of the men shouts, “Can you tell us more about the break-up between you and Kevin?”

Erin groans, not really wanting to talk about it. She’s not in the mood to do this. She reaches down and grabs Holtzmann’s hand, squeezing it gently. Holtzmann’s eyes widen then, not sure what this means. Erin still hasn’t said anything to the men, has instead turned her head towards her. Holtzmann breaks eye contact and watches the crowd behind the men, sees how their eyes are fixed on the two of them as well.

“You know what?” She says, “Fuck this.”

She pushes forward, her hand coming up to cup Erin’s cheek. Erin’s eyes widen for a second, but then she closes them as well. Holtzmann connects their lips, and suddenly everything around them seems to disappear. She vaguely hears people cheering and applauding in the background, but all she can focus on is Erin’s lips moving beneath hers. It’s perfect. She sort of gets why the Universe tried to stop this from happening so many times. Their kiss feels powerful enough to destroy entire _worlds_. She knows this can’t go on forever, though, they’re still in public. Reluctantly she pulls back, smiling brightly at Erin before turning towards the photographers. She winks at them, then pushes them aside and walks away, dragging Erin with her.

“We’ll see you guys tomorrow!” She shouts towards the others, who just smile and nod in response, clearly happy for them.

* * *

“So.. That was a pretty great second kiss.” Holtzmann says as soon as they enter her apartment. They’ve been mostly silent the entire ride here, both processing what has just happened.

“First kiss.” Erin reminds her. “I thought we agreed that the first one didn’t count.”

Holtzmann laughs. “You’re right. Honestly, there’s no way I could have forgotten a kiss as amazing as that one was.”

The redhead blushes. “Yeah, me too.”

“So..” Holtzmann says, “It seems like our curse is broken.”

“Yeah, seems so. Maybe it was just meant to happen like this.”

Holtzmann smiles, finding it endearing that Erin thinks of it like that. “Maybe, yeah. Does this mean you want a second kiss?” She waggles her eyebrows then.

Erin laughs before pushing herself forward and trapping Holtzmann between her body and the blonde’s apartment door. She connects their lips, immediately deepening the kiss and letting her tongue explore the other woman’s mouth.

“Holy shit, Gilbert.”

“Less talking, more kissing.” Erin says, gently biting the blonde’s bottom lip.

Holtzmann moans, then turns them around, pressing Erin against the door instead. She lowers her mouth to the physicist’s neck and starts placing open-mouthed kisses there.

“You’re going to regret that we broke this curse, Erin, because I’m never going to stop kissing you from this day on.”

Erin smiles. “Promise me.”

The engineer kisses her again, and this time it’s a slow and gentle kiss that makes her feel almost light-headed.

“I promise.”

* * *

**_2 months later._ **

“Babe!” Holtzmann shouts as she slams the door of Erin’s apartment open.

“You scared me!” Erin responds, clearly startled. “I gave you a key so you could open my door, not break it down.”

“Sorry.” Holtz responds, making her way over towards where Erin is sitting on the couch and giving her a quick kiss.

“How was your day?” Erin asks, having spent the whole day out with Abby, working on their book.

“Great. But now’s not the time to talk about that. I have something to show you.”

“Uh, okay.” The redhead says, unsure why her girlfriend is acting so weirdly. “It’s not another cat video is it?”

Holtzmann laughs. “No, they’re nice too, but they’re not ‘break your door down’ nice.”

“And this is?”

The blonde beams. “Erin, babe, cupcake-“

“Oh my god, stop.”

“Sweetheart,” She continues, “This is, and I swear to god, ‘burn down your entire apartment building’ nice.”

“Uh okay. Just tell me then.”

The engineer pulls out her phone, then dials her voicemail, causing Erin to frown. “What are you doing?”

Holtzmann smiles warmly at Erin, reaching out to hold her hand while she puts the phone on speaker. “I found this on my phone today. Just _listen._ ”

* * *

**_A little more than three months ago_ **

“I’m drunk.”

“Hi drunk, I’m Holtzmann.”

“Oh my god stop, that’s such a horrible dad joke.” Erin says as she playfully swats the blonde’s shoulder. She misses, though, almost causing herself to fall forward.

“I would be a great dad.” Holtzmann just says, slurring a little.

“Mm… I don’t know about that.”

The blonde pretends to be hurt, then smiles. “You just wait, Erin Gilbert, we are gonna have six children and I’m gonna teach them all kinds of cool stuff.”

“No teaching them how to bust ghosts.”

“What? Why?” Holtzmann says as she pouts her lips.

“Because they’ll burn our house down.”

“But they would look so cute, with their tiny proton packs.”

Erin smiles then. “They would look cute. Also, 6? Are you crazy?”

“Yes, but you knew that already.”

“True. But Holtz.. if we want to have kids we have to get married, which means we’ll eventually have to kiss.”

“Do you wanna kiss me?”

“You already know that I do.”

Holtzmann smiles, and it’s a bit lopsided, but it’s also the most adorable thing Erin has ever seen. She just wants to kiss that smile off her face. So she does. Or well.. tries. She leans forward, but just before their lips are about to connect, Holtzmann stops her.

“Wait.” She says, sounding much more sober than seconds before. “I uh- I really, really want this. But I want to do this right.”

Erin smiles, finding it endearing that the blonde wants to wait. “Are you sure? Who knows what’s going to happen next time we try..”

Holtzmann chuckles. “I’m sure. I like you, Erin, a lot, and when I kiss you I want to remember every single thing.”

The redhead nods. “Yeah, I want to remember too.”

“Man, Patty and Abby are going to kill me, though, next time something happens they’re going to be like 'damn you should have kissed her while you could'.” Holtzmann then says, causing Erin to burst into laughter.

“Well, you know what? We’re going to make a video, telling everybody that we kissed. We’ll just keep what actually happened a secret between us; that way we can still have that amazing first kiss we both want, without the pressure. How about that?”

Holtzmann grins. “That sounds perfect.”

Erin nods before reaching for her phone. “Oh fuck. Looks like I’ve been calling you for about ten minutes now.”

The blonde shrugs. “I’ll just delete the voicemail tomorrow. Now, let’s make that video.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END!
> 
> come talk to me on Tumblr! (dr-jillianholtzmann)

**Author's Note:**

> So, hate it? like it? love it?
> 
> Also, come talk to me on Tumblr if you want to (dr-jillianholtzmann).


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